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Saving Your Marriage

By Guest Author On December 29, 2010 Under Improve Your Life, Law of Attraction, Self Help Tips, Self Improvement, Setting Goals, Success Secrets

Our previous article in this series dealt with the identification of the causes of divorce.   This piece is dedicated to those diehard partners who are unwilling to concede that indeed their marriage is over.   A thorough understanding of these principles might, indeed, help to get ex back.  If you are trying to recover a broken or damaged relationship, your chance to win your ex back, will be heightened by knowing all these things.

The causes of divorce are often confused with the causes of the problems leading to that point.  People are people, and we owe a great deal of acceptance recognition to the fact that the genders have their own uniqueness at work here.  Men, as it turns out, often distance themselves from their mate when they feel imprisoned, nagged or just overly controlled and managed.  Women, it seems, are often driven to the same ‘distancing’ process when their emotional needs are simply not met – or even attempted to be addressed. 

That often sets in motion a series of events – often with a seemingly auto-driven mind of their own – to spin the marriage down into a vertical freefall from which it never recovers.  What happens to cause the freefall is what the human scientists call “individual isolationism” or the resigned sense of feeling and being an individual again – rather than a partner in a dying relationship.

Spiritually separated couples begin, then, to think of themselves only.   Once that occurs it is extremely unlikely that such a duet will survive.  Committed survivalists would be well advised to keep this in mind.  

If you are in a troubled marriage and there are indications that you may have gone – or are nearing – that point of no return, then you would be well advised to follow these guidelines.

The reparation of a seriously damaged marriage cannot be done gradually or lackadaisically.   Duets in this class have actually left the roadway and are careening radically out of control.  This requires both immediate and drastic action to halt the freefall and get the lines of communication open and zinging.

Talk with your partner and share your unwillingness to give up without a mutually beneficial fight for survival.   This is often the only way to get a love-based participation.

Have a follow-up series of discussions and get it all out on the table.   Write them down and print them out on your computer.  Get a joint consensus that these are, indeed, the real problems – not just symptoms of your marriage problems.  Each of you should make a list of the things you need – or see eliminated – in order for the marriage to survive.  Respond back to your partner – point by point – with what it would take on your part to provide what is requested – in order, by easiest to most difficult.   Give the process a seriously-attempted first try and see what happens.  If there is any initial success, move on to the next item and so on.

If you are attempting to get ex back from a breakup caused by the absence of these things, take heed.

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