•  
  •  

Subscribe to this blog

Subscribe to full feed RSS
What the? RSS?!

Subscribe Via Email

We respect your privacy.

How to Manage Your Self-Esteem

By Guest Author On June 23, 2011 Under Improve Your Life, Improve Your Self Esteem, Law of Attraction, Self Help Tips, Self Improvement, Setting Goals, Success Secrets

Self-esteem is essential for psychological survival. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic necessites going unmet. One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide if you like that identity or not.

The problem of self- esteem is this human capacity for judgment. It’s one thing to dislike certain colors, noises, shapes, or sensations. But when you reject parts of yourself, you greatly damage the psychological structures that literally keep you alive. Judging and rejecting yourself causes enormous pain. And in the same way that you would favor and protect a physical wound, you find yourself averting anything that might aggravate the pain of self-rejection in any way. You make it more tough for yourself to interview for a job , or push hard for something where you might not succeed. To avoid more judgments and self-rejection, you erect barriers of defense. Perhaps you blame and get angry, or bury yourself in perfectionistic work. Or you brag.

It’s about healing the old wounds of hurt and self-rejection. How you comprehend and feel about yourself can change. And when those perceptions and feelings change, the ripple effect will touch every part of your life with a gradually expanding sense of freedom. Hundreds of researchers have quizzed thousands of people of various ages and situations, trying to see what causes self-esteem, who has the most of it, how important it is, how it can be increased, and so on. Studies of young children show clearly that parents’ style of child-rearing during the first three or four years determines the amount of self-esteem that a child starts with. After that, most studies of older children, adolescents, and adults share a common confusion: what is cause and what is effect? Do alcoholics drink because they hate them selves, or do they hate themselves because they drink? These are classic chicken- and- egg questions. Just as eggs come from chickens and chickens come from eggs, it seems that self-esteem grows out of your circumstances in life, and your circumstances in life are powerfully influenced by your self-esteem.

Which came first? The question has serious implications for your success at raising your self- esteem. If external circumstances determine self- esteem, then all you have to do to improve your self- esteem is to improve your circumstances. The fact is that self- esteem and your circumstances are only indirectly related. There is another intervening factor that determines self-esteem 100 percent of the time: your thoughts. For example, let’s say that you’re discussing the news, and when you make a remark about the right-wing rebels your nitpicking friend corrects you: “No, you mean the left-wing rebels.” If you tell yourself, “I really sound stupid,” your self-esteem will take a nose dive. If you say to yourself, “Oh yeah, I’ve got to keep that straight next time,” your self-esteem will not suffer so much. In such a case, you don’t change the circumstances, only how you interpret them. Does this mean that circumstances have nothing to do with self-esteem? No. Obviously, in the area of social status, bank vice presidents have more opportunity to feel better about their careers than cab drivers have. This is why a study of 100 vice-presidents and 100 cab drivers will “prove” that the higher status job leads to higher self-esteem. What is overlooked among the statistics is that there are some vice-presidents who slaughter their self-esteem by telling themselves, “I should have been president of my own bank by now. I’m a loser,” just as there are some cabdrivers who feel good about themselves because they think, “So I’m just a cab driver—I’m putting bread on the table, the kids are doing good in school, things are going just fine.”

Proven methods of cognitive behavioral therapy can be used to raise your self-esteem by changing the way you interpret your life. It can show you how to uncover and study the negative self-statements you habitually make. You can learn how to create new, objective, positive self- statements that will foster your self-esteem instead of undermining it.

_____________________________________________________

Powered by Big Trends Review, There is no startlogic in lunarpages review.

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • bodytext
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google