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How to Control Stress and Anxiety

By Guest Author On February 16, 2011 Under Self Improvement, Success Secrets

For most normal people a difficult conversation will generate higher than average levels of stress and anxiety, after all more often than not there’s a lot at stake in a difficult conversation. It doesn’t matter what the nature of your conversation is about, if you pull it off you feel great and the relationship is likely to get back on an even keel once again. If you screw up however, the outcome will be much different. If you’re wondering what’s at the heart of a successful conversation then look no further than the preparation that needs to go into the conversation.

Managing your anxiety levels are crucial if you are to engage in a difficult conversation. It’s a fact that we all put a huge amount of pressure on our selves to get it right and in doing so overestimate the risk of it all going pear shaped and indeed underestimate the risk of not having the conversation and letting it fester under the surface. Preparing for a difficult conversation doesn’t involve standing in front of a mirror and shouting I’m a Tiger over and over, contrary to popular belief. In fact it’s quite the opposite. So getting yourself into the right frame of mind is critical, you will be besieged by thoughts of suspicion, blame, denial and judgement all of which will only serve to increase your anxiety levels and reduce the chances of  having a productive conversation. It’s crucial to access the right mindset and get yourself into a place of curiosity, compassion and open-mindedness and stay there throughout the conversation. The difficult conversation will surface a whole host of unresourceful emotions so you need to be switched on to these emotions and pay attention to how they show up in your thoughts and behaviour, remember your primary goal is to manage your anxiety. Burying your emotions will just mean they pop up when you least expect them.

Master your Internal Voice

Everyone has a little voice inside that they talk and listen to from time to time. Despite what psychiatrists lead us to believe, this is perfectly normal and natural! Our internal dialogue can be a resource to us and at the same time can be a hindrance to us. That little voice has a massive impact on our anxiety levels, so when we are self critical of ourselves and give ourselves a hard time about something it will directly affect our emotional state and anxiety. Become a curious observer to your internal dialogue and monitor the transmissions in your own mind. If you say to yourself that you’re useless and it’s all your fault then you’ll feel terrible about the prospect of the conversation. On the other hand if your voice is more compassionate and supportive, the conversation will seem much easier. Controlling your inner voice is at the heart of anxiety management and it’s the first and most profound step on your difficult conversation journey.

To learn more about the inner workings of our mind and how to have a difficult conversation download this free comprehensive eBook and never again experience the turbulent waters of a difficult conversation

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