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Assertiveness at Work – Teach People How to Treat You

By Guest Author On February 5, 2011 Under Improve Your Self Esteem, Self Improvement, Success Secrets

Assertiveness is not what you do, it’s who you are!” – Shakti Gawain

There is a big difference between assertiveness and  aggressiveness. Being assertive is a way of living where you get the most out of life without other people telling you how to do it. This simple means: You do not need to be obnoxious, agressive, or rude to get it your own way.

You cannot just jump in with both feet and decide, “Hey, today I’m going to be assertive and nobody will be pushing me around anymore. No more Mr. Nice Guy!” Learning how to be assertive requires a new mindset and plan. Remember, it takes time to learn how to be assertive and not aggressive. Find a coach to help you become more assertive. Then ask yourself these questions:

  1. What are my values?

  2. What are my core beliefs about life?

  3. How do I feel about myself?

  4. How do I approach life? Do these approaches work?

The fact that your reading this article says a lot. It says you are seeking for improvements in life. Change starts with awareness. You are aware that you need to change; you just do not know how to get started. It is time to learn why you do what you are doing and how to turn that around. Remember, you cannot just turn on a switch and instantly become assertive in life.

Mark Twain said, “We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.” In order to learn how to become assertive and be in charge of your own life, you must be honest with yourself. Dr. Phil is always saying that you cannot change what you do not acknowledge. It is time to discover what you have been hiding from yourself.

  • Do you consistently fail when it comes to attaining your goals in life?

  • Are you just drifting along with no plan, goals, and idea?

  • Are you stuck in your comfort zone where you are not feeling challenged?

  • Are you not getting enough of what you really want out of life and getting way too much of what you do not want?

  • Are you living a life with guilt or frustration and are struggling to change things?

What is at stake here is the quality of your life. Would you like to live a fullfilling and authentic life? Or are you satisfied with someone else calling the shots and making all the major decisions for you for the rest of your life?

Do you feel like you are constantly being pushed around? Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of? Do other people try to run your life? Do you feel that you are ready to start living life in your own terms?

You do not need to accept the burdens like those listed above. You can assert yourself and reach for something better. You have the right and the ability to have what you want out of life. Let me warn you though, change does not come in an instant.

Assertiveness must be learned carefully one step at a time. This is especially true if you have spent years following others telling you what to do, how to do it, what to think, what to feel, etc. How motivated are you to change and learn to assert yourself?

Think about the leaders who run our world. Whether it is business, politics, sports, or entertainment, there is one common denominator for all these people. These people know which buttons to push to get what they want. Some of these people are extremely intelligent and articulate, while others are merely manipulative. Some are unconcerned whether you agree with them and share their views. Others are rabid in demanding that you fall in line with them. They feel that they know best and this gives them the authority to tell everyone what they should be doing and saying. It is their way or the highway.

Be aware that there are risks involved in learning how to be assertive. You will find that many will not agree with you. In fact, you will meet people who are skeptical and pessimistic. They will always argue and try to prove you wrong.

Now is the time to get jazzed about your life! It is time to assert yourself and get what you want out of life. This is your life and not a dress rehearsal! It is time to learn new skills on how to do better. It is time to learn how to be more assertive. Find a life coach to help you become more assertive and the person you want to be. Try taking the  life assessment to see if coaching is right for you.

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