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What are the benefits of high self-esteem and self-confidence?

By Guest Author On January 17, 2010 Under Self Improvement

I am on a trip to gain these 2 things and I’m determined to get them. but sometimes I do kind of think "is it that important?" It takes time and effort to gain self-confidence and self-esteem and sometimes I feel a bit lazy and am tempted to lapse back into my old, negative insecure self. Especially when smething bad happns. LIKE MY CRAP EXAM RESULTS TODAY.
I am looking for reassurance that self-esteem and confidence are worth working for. What benefits have they brought you? Has gaining them changed your life for the better?
thanks x

Hey!
I think there’s nothing more impotant than confidence. When I was younger (I’m 19 now) I was really insecure and self conscious.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve really tried to step out of my comfort zone and it has paid off so much.
I started university last September and I felt like a new person. I just tried really hard to smile and talk to randomers. I always had friends before, but doing this makes everyone like you…I guess it rises your popularity haha!

Honestly, the way you hold yourself directly influences the way people view and treat you.
People never tease or laugh at a confident person,… because it simply does not achieve the desired effect. If you can laugh at an insult, it not really an insult anymore, is it?
People are DRAWN to confident people – no matter what they look like. They give off an amazing aura. Smile more. It makes you and everyone around you a bit happier!

As for you exams,….so what? Think about it. Its not the end of your world. Think of it as motivation for trying harder next time. Try to remember the bad feeling and avoid it happening again. Work harder.
Life is a series of mistakes and improvements.
How boring would it be if we were all born perfect!

I’ve got the most amazing boyfriend ever (and he’s hot haha!) and that never would have happened to me before. I’ve always been quite pretty (lol) but I just simply couldn’t trust myself with a boyfriend before.
You have to let go of your insecurites and trust yourself. It pays off. Give yourself the courage to be yourself. Trust me, most people will like you simply because you ARE real. Its actually a pretty rare thing these days.

You really can become the person you want to be. Don’t punish yourself. Think of it as training. And positive rewards work better than ‘scolding’. If you mess up, let it go and do better next time.

Make aims for yourself and hit as many of those goals as you can. You’re not gonna achieve everything you set for yourself…we’re only human.
But do your best and you seriously will never have regrets…

Anyway, good luck!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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8 comments - add yours
David

January 18, 2010

these qualities are essential if you want to be happy and successful. just study harder. life gives you back what you put into it.
References :

Animalluv

January 18, 2010

well, it sounds like your still in some sort of school from the exam thing, so here goes:
it’s incredibly important to have self-esteem and self confidence. this is because not only if you’re confident in yourself will you do better, but other people can see it too. if they know you’re confident in yourself, they really begin to admire you because not a lot of people are able to feel that way. self esteem is also a great thing to have. if you don’t have any of either, it could end up very messy. you need to believe in yourself, and you will do well. it’s what i do! it’s some weird psychological thing: if you think you’ll do good, you try and and end up doing well. if you don’t think you’ll do well, you won’t try and therefore won’t do well.
References :
experience and my rents are psychologists

Muni

January 18, 2010

Exactly self confidence and self esteem is a only gift of our creator. you cud say them divine power inbedded in human being. Only self confidence and self esteem makes person high to fly in sky. you can do nothing without these inner power. there is many way to get both in indian philosophy like dhayan , samadhi.
References :
shiv muni’ s literature

XxEllexX

January 18, 2010

Hey!
I think there’s nothing more impotant than confidence. When I was younger (I’m 19 now) I was really insecure and self conscious.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve really tried to step out of my comfort zone and it has paid off so much.
I started university last September and I felt like a new person. I just tried really hard to smile and talk to randomers. I always had friends before, but doing this makes everyone like you…I guess it rises your popularity haha!

Honestly, the way you hold yourself directly influences the way people view and treat you.
People never tease or laugh at a confident person,… because it simply does not achieve the desired effect. If you can laugh at an insult, it not really an insult anymore, is it?
People are DRAWN to confident people – no matter what they look like. They give off an amazing aura. Smile more. It makes you and everyone around you a bit happier!

As for you exams,….so what? Think about it. Its not the end of your world. Think of it as motivation for trying harder next time. Try to remember the bad feeling and avoid it happening again. Work harder.
Life is a series of mistakes and improvements.
How boring would it be if we were all born perfect!

I’ve got the most amazing boyfriend ever (and he’s hot haha!) and that never would have happened to me before. I’ve always been quite pretty (lol) but I just simply couldn’t trust myself with a boyfriend before.
You have to let go of your insecurites and trust yourself. It pays off. Give yourself the courage to be yourself. Trust me, most people will like you simply because you ARE real. Its actually a pretty rare thing these days.

You really can become the person you want to be. Don’t punish yourself. Think of it as training. And positive rewards work better than ‘scolding’. If you mess up, let it go and do better next time.

Make aims for yourself and hit as many of those goals as you can. You’re not gonna achieve everything you set for yourself…we’re only human.
But do your best and you seriously will never have regrets…

Anyway, good luck!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
References :

taylortumbl

January 18, 2010

the benefits to these two mental states are endless.

i think we all go through setbacks, and face adversities, but with self-esteem and confidence, we overcome things much easier.

if you think back throughout your life, there are times when you had them, and when you didn’t. i think as we grow, that is a natural process.
no one has high self esteem and self confidence throughout their life, because we need to experience the lacks in order to fully feel the gains.

personally, they bring me a better sense of gratitude, feeling of strength, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and with them, the little things – like a crappy exam score, remain just that, little, in the scheme of things.

with self-esteem and confidence i am better able to understand things, and look at everything as happening for a reason. whether its the traffic im stuck in, or my mother im trying to reason with, everything is there to build me up, so the little things remain as is, little.

i think its great that you are determined to gain some self-esteem and confidence. but im pretty sure its already there, just allow it to reveal itself 🙂 start small, adopting a dog, or embracing nature, doing good for others. the little things will take you far.
best of luck!
References :

Ego Fatigo

January 18, 2010

Okay, firstly you want healthy self-esteem and not high self esteem (this can be as bad as low self esteem, believe it or not – superiority complexes, arrogance often resulting in drugs binges etc.!)

So, what does a healthy self-esteem give you? Basically, you feel good about yourself AND you feel good about other people (even people that previously annoyed you because they were stupid or intimidated you because they were better or more beautiful etc .)

So you like yourself, and you like other people. A lot.

Imagine this state, fully, and then imagine going through your life with such an attitude and then tell me you don’t think that having a healthy self-esteem matters!!!

And it’s the same with self-confidence. You say what you want, a lot more, and you’re less afraid of what people think about you. You be yourself a lot more. Yes, you will still make mistakes in life, and people might laugh every now and then, but that’s okay as no-one is perfect and you only get good at something by practice AND trying it in the first place.

So, to summarise, a self-confident person with a healthy self-esteem is the best that that person can be AND is the sort of person who encourages others to give of their best too.

A completely win-win situation for everyone in your life…

Convinced, yet? 😉
References :
http://www.selfhelpcollective.com/self-confidence.html
http://www.selfhelpcollective.com/high-self-esteem.html

Questioned M

January 18, 2010

Its definetly not easy being confident by just hearing someone telling you to be confident. There are many reasons why you can be lacking self confidence. I am going to help you go through them in my answer please keep reading.

First off I want you to take the time to ask yourself these questions for "Lack of Self-Confidence";

– Who am I really; what are all my negative qualities?

– Does this mean I am the worst person in the world?

– How many people do I know in this world without any negative qualities?

– Can I expect myself to be perfect, without any faults?

– What are my positive qualities.

– Can I not at least help people, care about them, generate compassion?

– Does not everybody have good and bad qualities?

– Do I therefore have to hate everybody?

– Why do I have to judge so hard on myself for being human, with good and bad qualities?

– Can I forgive myself for all my negative qualities?

– Do I believe I can improve myself, or am I an absolutely hopeless case?

– I have my own inner wisdom and know what is good and bad. Therefore I can make my own decisions and handle my own problems.

– Even if my problems become too overwhelming, I can always decide to ask others for advise.

– Having self-confidence, I do not feel better than others, but I know I can do something by myself, and have the courage to follow my own inner wisdom.

Now sometimes you can "Doubt" yourself so please ask yourself these questions;

– How does doubt feel?

– Is it pleasant or unpleasant?

– Are there any thoughts that keep on repeating themselves in my mind?

– Am I just afraid of the most negative outcome?

– Is it realistic to just expect the worse?

– Do I dare to just do something and hope for the best?

– Not making a choice is like a choosing to delay a decision, does it really help?

– Do I dare to trust my own decisions?

– Do I trust myself and dare to follow my heart and logic?

– Can I accept making a mistake instead of never deciding?

Basically, what I realized by asking myself in the "doubt" questions is that I should just not doubt myself, and just go do what my heart feels right for, and just make mistakes because its okay to make mistakes, go make those mistakes, learn from them, and then just keep on living.

**Okay this is for thinking "negative" which is the worst thing you can possibly do. Look I want you to realize that thinking negative has not ever helped you or anybody in your whole life. In reality thinking negative does not help at all. In the other hand thinking positive will help you to look good in situations, feel good, have a good positive attitude, where people want to be around you for.

Look I want you to remember this quote;

"There are not negative things, just negative thinkers and There are not positive things, just positive thinkers."

I’ll explain what the quote means; It means pretend I thought that a certain music band is good making music, which is a positive thought and then on the other hand there’s another person who thinks negatively of them and who thinks that they aren’t good. What I’m trying to say in reality there is no positive or negative things its all what ourselves judge things as. You can look at everything positive, and just set your mind to positive. Don’t let other peoples negative opinions and thoughts hold you back from looking at the positive things because people who are positive are people who will want to be your friend because look in reality who the heck wants to be friends with someone who is always negative? To be honest no I wouldn’t and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. While on the other hand having a buddy who stays positive and helps out is a friend that everyone wants to have.

If you have anymore questions please feel free to add me at tiptop992@hotmail.com.
References :

I ran to U,Now, I run from U..

January 18, 2010

The benefits include the fact that you can act independently and can lead a life in a way you want it to be…
It gives you a positive attitude…
It gives you awareness of your talents and skills…
And also by high self esteem you can get an unconditional self worthiness, which is very important at times of failure to regain your strength…

Yes it is important to have these things in oneself…And it is worth to develop it in you…
References :