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Avoid The Divorce Courts! Last Ditch Marriage Saving Advice

By Guest Author On July 18, 2011 Under Law of Attraction

Doing the same old thing is what got you here in the first place with your marriage. It’s time to add something fresh and exciting to your knowledge bank and find some tactics that actually work to get things back to the spicy, fun way that things used to be. Forget the tired old tactics that you think should work, but which in fact simply end up alienating your partner and driving them even further away. You need to supercharge your efforts with tactics which help to save the marriage in the real world, and not just in theory.

Luckily, the way to turn things around in your marriage is actually much quicker then the path you are on to divorce. You simply need to start appreciating each other again, and start seeing each other in the same light that you did when you first went out. When you first met it was probably passionate very quickly, or at the very least it developed into passion and love at some stage. You may have let it slip, but you can get it back. One of the immediate things that you need to do is to start talking to your partner properly again. Not just about politics, what is wrong with the world or your boss. But about all the juice of life stuff that used to make you smile together, used to make you laugh.

You can turn things around in your marriage but you need to realise that you will have to change some things if they are going to happen. You cannot have everything remain exactly the same, and yet magically expect to have your loving wife or husband back. It doesn’t work that way I’m afraid. Saving your marriage will need you to take some steps of your own to resurrect the relationship, and resurrect is a carefully chosen phrase here, because for some marriages it can be Lazarus like when it starts to emerge from the ashes of depression and arguments and again becomes a source of joy for both parties. A great place to start is for each of you to sit down and write out a list of what you found particularly attractive about the other person when you first met.

Ask your partner to put your differences aside just for the moment, and seek to get some common ground. Tell your partner that you sincerely want to make things work, and that just for a little while you want them to reserve judgement on whether this is a pack of nonsense, or something really helpful. Ask them to simply go along with it. In truth if you can get them to participate then it bodes extremely well for your efforts to get them to start appreciate the marriage again, because even though they may still have many issues with you, at least you are both on the same pathway. And you can then take it further with a book like Bob Grants “What Husbands Can’t Resist“, which is a great book for couples seeking to better understand their relationship.

Once you have gone through this exercise then you will most likely experience a state change. Another way to think of this is what happens to you when in the middle of a massive rainstorm where you are walking outside, the clouds part, and the sun suddenly comes out. In the split second after the clouds have gone and the rain has stopped, the difference it makes to your mood is palpable. It lifts your spirits and immediately puts you in a more productive frame of mind for your walk. The same thing happens in your relationship when you ask your partner to think back to the good times. It literally makes the clouds part and the sun come out. I am sure you will notice the difference. It won’t solve all your marriage problems overnight, but it is at least a start and sometimes beginning is half done :-)

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