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The Effective Solution For Any Passionate Connection

By Guest Author On August 29, 2011 Under Improve Your Life, Law of Attraction

There are a lot of aspects that go into creating a loving relationship. Certainly it helps if 2 people have some things in common concerning how they like to spend their time. It also helps if they have common values about religion or spirituality, around politics, the environment, abortion, and individual growth.

It can help if they both eat processed foods or both eat organic food. It makes things less complicated if both are neat or both are messy, if both are on time people or both are late individuals. Physical attraction is also quite crucial. It is great if they have shared values around money and spending.

But a couple can have all of these and still not have a loving relationship if one element is missing. Without having this crucial ingredient, all of the other amazing attributes won’t be enough to make the dating relationship work.

This important ingredient is intention.

You’ll find two various intentions: to control or to learn. When our intention would be to control, our deepest motivation is to have control over acquiring love, avoiding discomfort, and feeling secure. When our intention would be to learn, our deepest motivation is to learn about being loving to ourselves and other people.

The motivation to get love rather than to giving love can create havoc within a dating relationship.

Let us look and see what happens regarding the two various intentions. Jason and Samantha feel emotionally distant from one another, and they haven’t made love in one month. The dilemma started when Samantha stated that she wanted to take a really expensive vacation and Jason objected. Samantha got angry, Jason gave in, and they have been distant ever since.

Samantha’s objective was to have control over getting what she wanted. She equates an expensive vacation with love – if Jason does this for her, then he demonstrates his love for her. She utilized her anger as a way to have control over obtaining what she wants. She wants control over feeling special to Jason.

Jason’s objective is to stay away from pain. He gave himself up to have complete control over Samantha not becoming angry with him. He hopes that by giving Samantha what she wants, she’s going to see him as a good and loving husband.

Because both Jason and Samantha were attempting to control each other instead of be loving to themselves and one another, their interaction produced emotional distance.

What would this have looked like if their intention was to learn?

If Samantha’s intent was to learn, she wouldn’t have become angry. She would have wanted to fully grasp Jason’s objections. If Jason’s objective had been to learn, he would not have given himself up. Rather he would have wanted to understand why this certain vacation was so essential to Samantha.

Both, Samantha and Jason might have been caring about themselves and one another, rather than wanting to get love or avoid pain. In their mutual exploration about why they both felt the way they did, they would have discovered what they needed to learn – about themselves and one another – to reach a win-win decision.

No matter just how much Jason and Samantha have in common or are drawn to one another, their love will diminish when their intent would be to control rather than learn. It is amazing how rapidly love vanishes when one or both dating partners have the intent to control. It’s equally wonderful how fast it comes back when both dating partners have the intent to understand.

Just before you even think about getting into a relationship, try your luck in the dating field. Do it successfully by browsing: stylelife, stylelife.com, stylelife.com reviews.

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